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Let’s start with a confession: enlightenment, that elusive crown jewel of the non secular world sought by bald monks and burnt-out software program builders alike, might not be what you suppose it’s. Scratch that. It’s undoubtedly not what you suppose it’s. Actually, it’s in all probability a perpetual mind fart. Not within the literal sense, in fact. The mind, final we checked, lacks an exhaust system or digestive tract. However as metaphors go, few are extra apt or extra comically illuminating.
A mind fart—by definition—is an surprising and involuntary lapse in psychological operate. Enlightenment can come unexpectedly and take management of 1’s ideas with out warning, leaving nothing however silence and misplaced which means behind in its wake. For many people, that’s precisely how enlightenment feels: like having your expectations crushed beneath an infinite cosmic whoopee cushion that deflates simply after we have been anticipating wonderful music to burst forth once more.
But we persist. And so we persist: constructing philosophies, crafting rituals and meditating prefer it’s an Olympic occasion, solely to seek out the knowledge we search slipping via our fingers like evaporated nonsense.
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The Stink of Awakening
Think about the Buddha, seated beneath the Bodhi tree, again aching, stomach empty, thoughts desperately greedy on the void. He doesn’t all of a sudden float above the bottom. No golden auras shoot from his crown chakra. As an alternative, one thing extra humble, extra ridiculous happens: a comfortable, inside pfffft—a cerebral flatulence so highly effective it ruptures his identification with the world. An emission just isn’t of fuel however of all attachments. Of perception. Of self.
“Ah,” he murmurs, eyes vast and bloodshot with the absurdity of all of it. “Completely nothing.”
And from that second onward, folks started bowing—not as a result of he had discovered the reality, however as a result of he had misplaced the whole lot else. Together with the necessity to search. Together with the seeker himself.
We inform ourselves that non secular enlightenment arrives wrapped in silk robes, perfumed by sacred incense, carried on the breeze of solemn mantras. However what if it really arrives cloaked in discomfort, taken on the again of a psychological sneeze?
The Pursuit of Enlightenment: A Lengthy Stroll with No Pants
It’s one in every of life’s most tragic ironies: enlightenment is hailed as the very best pursuit, but it lies hidden behind the psychological equal of forgetting why you walked right into a room. We attempt endlessly, going barefoot via rituals, detoxifying via food regimen, and chanting historic syllables till our vocal cords are sore. And for what?
So we will realise we have been holding the keys the entire time—within the hand that’s been frantically patting our pockets. That the whole lot issues not as a result of it’s essential however as a result of it’s hilariously empty. The nice cosmic joke is on us—and the snigger observe is our echoing confusion.
You spend many years fasting, journaling, denying your self cheese and earthly pleasures, solely to find your strict regime has all of the non secular vitamin of a cardboard sandwich. The second hits you want a sigh escaping the soul—surprising, anticlimactic, and just a little embarrassing. Welcome again to sq. one—this time, with out pants.
Blanking Out Is Nirvana
The nice fantasy of awakening is that it descends like divine thunder. However the fact is way quieter. It arrives like an influence outage throughout your favorite present—a clean stare into house, a vanishing of which means, a pause so profound it swallows the whole lot.
That’s enlightenment. Not a climactic crescendo, however a sluggish unfurling of “meh.”
When the thoughts lastly blanks out, what’s left isn’t confusion. It’s calm. It’s spaciousness. It’s the mild sound of your ideas packing their baggage and leaving the room with out saying goodbye.
You don’t ascend into bliss—you hunch into being. You don’t rise above the world—you neglect the place the ground is. You’re not enlightened since you’ve found one thing profound however since you’ve run out of issues to fret about, issues to analyse, issues to recollect.
Religious FOMO and the Guru Grift
Inside right this moment’s wellness economic system, enlightenment has turn out to be a horny product. From Instagram sages and non secular influencers with immaculate lighting, awakening is bought in seven-day packages together with tote baggage as a part of a suggestion to “come again to your self and align your power.” All it requires is an upfront fee and an air-conditioned retreat centre.
Real awakening can’t be deliberate or socially shared—it should arrive unbidden and infrequently unwelcomely, whether or not when flossing your tooth or preventing with a cat. Like an surprising sneeze, it strikes with out warning.
These we name “enlightened” aren’t above us: they’re proper there beside us, staring into their fridge at midnight, questioning why they opened it. Their eyes don’t bulge with knowledge—they merely neglect their subsequent thought. And that’s the purpose.
Your Thoughts Is an Overinflated Balloon
Your mind can usually really feel like an inflated balloon twitching from thought to thought like an ADHD monkey in search of which means and a focus till all of a sudden one thing slips; an inside seam loosens, the stress dissipates—and in that second of freedom or launch, you expertise what was meant for you all alongside: the shortage of greedy.
The self you’ve so rigorously composed collapses. The questions you held dissolve like tissue in water. You don’t really feel clever—you’re feeling oddly dumb. And it’s fantastic. Nice liberation just isn’t about understanding extra however about shedding the necessity to know. In farting away your definitions. In letting the psychic strain escape in an unceremonious whoosh.
Letting Go Is Passing Fuel
Religious texts inform us to let go. Let go of ego. Let go of want. Let go of attachment. However what they hardly ever say is that letting go feels so much like your mind farting itself into silence. Not a grand give up, however an unintentional one. A slip, not a sacrifice.
You let go not via effort however via accident. By way of a misstep in cognition. A stumble in consciousness. One minute, you’re sure of your home within the cosmos; the subsequent, you’ve forgotten what you have been doing and why any of it issues. That’s not a mistake. That’s awakening.
Letting go isn’t swish. It’s extra like by chance deleting your thesis and laughing as a result of, deep down, you at all times hated it. It’s the scentless, soundless liberation of changing into gentle sufficient to snigger.
The “Aha!” Second Is Really an “Uh…?”
We think about the second of realisation as an important unveiling. However more often than not, it’s a shrug. It’s the awkward pause throughout a sentence you not imagine in. It’s the invisible click on of a psychological digicam taking an image of nothing in any respect.
You sit beneath your favorite mango tree. Birds sing. Leaves rustle. After which—nothing. Not transcendence. Not unity. It’s simply the cognitive equal of an open-mouthed stare. And in that stillness, one thing slips away. And as an alternative: air.
That’s when you recognize. Not with conviction however with the absence of effort. With the peace that follows confusion. With the quiet certainty that you simply’ve stopped attempting.
You Too Can Be a Guru: Overlook What You Know
Why do non secular lecturers communicate in riddles? Why do they reply questions with extra questions? As a result of they’re stalling. They’ve reached the boundaries of language, and so they understand it. They’re attempting to carry in a cosmic mind fart to maintain the phantasm alive for only one extra sentence.
When the mind goes clean, the reality seems—not as content material, however as absence. That’s why they sweep flooring. That’s why they feed geese. That’s why they smile in silence. As a result of the thoughts has stopped clenching. And what’s left is the breeze.
You don’t want to review historic texts or decode Sanskrit sutras. You should cease attempting. Let the thought cross. Let the self launch. Let the perception waft via just like the world’s softest whoopee cushion.
Blanking Out: The Gateway to the Infinite
All doorways to fact result in a sort of forgetfulness. The perfect insights don’t arrive with fanfare. They drift in if you’re not wanting, when your guard is down if you’re too drained to carry out spirituality.
You don’t get smarter. You get quieter. You don’t turn out to be extra. You turn out to be much less. Till you’re nothing however breath and the occasional gasp of realisation that there’s nothing to understand.
The Nice Unclenching
Religious apply usually seems like climbing up an invisible ladder of sunshine. However in reality, it’s an act of give up. A softening. An unclenching of the thoughts’s determined grip on which means.
Don’t attain enlightenment—launch it. Like fuel from an uncomfortable stomach. Breath from a fatigued chest. Thought out of your relaxed mind. And as soon as it’s out, what stays just isn’t vacancy—however house.
Permit your self the house to snigger, to breathe, to be silly with out punishment. That freedom, greater than any knowledge, is what’s going to set you free.
Closing Whiffs
Society has constructed temples and dogmas round awakening. We’ve canonised seekers and bought tickets to the reality. However maybe holiness lies not above however right here—within the absurdities of life. Within the silences. Within the clean stares. Within the sacred, silly moments.
True liberation usually comes quietly. Possibly it sneaks in if you aren’t performing. Maybe it isn’t the voice of God, however the universe letting out a comfortable sigh.
So honour the nothing. Rejoice the forgotten. And the subsequent time you’re staring blankly into your fridge—bear in mind: you may be nearer to enlightenment than you suppose.
About Dadhichi Toth, the Creator
is a revisionary astrologer who works with each Jap and Western methods of astrology.
He’s the founder and CEO of astrology.com.au and former writer of the best-selling astrology collection of books for Harlequin Mills and Boon for 9 years.
 He could be contacted on dadhichi@astrology.com.au
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