You probably have Venus sq. Neptune in your chart, we’re prone to have rather a lot in widespread. My natal Neptune is conjunct my Midheaven and there’s no finish to the methods this side impacts my life. If you happen to doubt me, click on the tag as I’ve written about this for greater than twenty years: Venus Neptune.
One of many methods this side manifests: I’m continually mistaken each for issues I’m and issues I’m not. Issues I feel and issues I don’t suppose. Issues I do and issues I don’t do. This bothers me greater than most, as a result of I’m an trustworthy particular person.
My sister instructed me in my twenties, I used to be “facade free”. I didn’t know that the hell she was speaking about, as at all times. “What do you imply?” I requested.
“I imply, you don’t have a facade. You place your actual persona on the market.”
I wasn’t positive what she meant. She’d trick me sometimes so I used to be cautious. “Facade? Who has a facade?” I requested, probing.
“Everyone.”
I believed this needed to be a lie. “You have a facade?”
“Sure, and also you don’t”.
“Why do you’ve a facade?” requested the little sister, at all times looking for out extra…
I got here to study she was proper about this. And you understand what individuals do, as a matter after all. They undertaking! They’ve one, so I need to?
For this reason legions of individuals suppose I’m mendacity when I’m telling the reality right down to the tremendous hairs, why? So I can’t be accused of mendacity! However they lie like a rug, so I need to lie like a rug too! Ugh.
Right here’s extra on the profundity of this:
Neptune Conjunct Midheaven: Extra On Mistaken Identification
I’m contemplating making an attempt a brand new, radical strategy to addressing the issues I’ve with this, that are endless. I’m contemplating falling into this.
It could imply, not telling anybody who I’m, anymore. Not telling anybody, what I feel or how I really feel. I might simply reside and let individuals observe and outline me nonetheless they like. That is what occurs anyway, sure? It could be about standing bare, to be judged. Bare, as a result of I’ve no facade. I’ve no alternative with that.
A very long time in the past, an astute reader instructed me I used to be like an inkblot. Totally different individuals see various things. This one other view of what I’m saying. It’s a Neptune sacrifice.
I’m experimenting with this now. It’s about not being outspoken and even talking in any respect, outdoors the opposite particular person’s pursuits. This may occasionally sound like self-betrayal, however that’s not what it’s.
It’s one other expression of the Mercury and Mars in my ninth, because it’s “on the market” for me. It’s past the place I’m now. I’m additionally intent (Mars) on being well mannered (Libra). I’ll politely talk about what the opposite particular person(s) are considering.
This works for my eighth home as it is going to be the demise of me, but additionally my rebirth, into peace. I may even acquire perception I can’t entry when my mouth is working.
I’m speaking about residing within the unfavourable area. Going not simply “yin”, however tremendous yin, in accord with the eighth home.
I truly began doing this about two years in the past… child steps. It’s gone effectively. Some might (or might not) suppose I’m fairly vanilla, perhaps even “uninteresting”. I’m okay with this, consider it or not (pun). It’s sufficient for me to simply be seen as an “okay” particular person, that means, I’m not a thief or out to get anybody, ever. Not precisely a non-playing character, as I can be concerned in a service, volunteer capability. I’m speaking about my actual, offline life right here.
It’s a sequence of occasions that’s introduced me up to now. I’ve been shedding my associates, to demise and incapacity, over the past a number of years. I can’t exchange these individuals. These are individuals I’ve identified for many years. We’ve bought unimaginable histories, nevertheless it’s greater than that. Individuals are simply to damned offended! You want a facade to outlive on this world at present and I don’t have one. You want a facade to have associates, too. I’ve bought nothing I can throw on!
I’ve just about determined to go along with clean slate as a canopy, largely as a result of it’s the one factor I feel I can pull off. It’s additionally a method to preserve my integrity as I gained’t be on the market appearing like I’m somebody I’m not. I’ll be on the market as myself, however quieter. A lot quieter.
I feel this fits Neptune on the midheaven. The way in which I’ve lived most my life, doesn’t. I used to be Venus in Leo, sure?
There was this outdated gal who I knew from church some years in the past. She got here to mass alone and I, projecting on her, used to ask her to have some espresso after mass, or sit in on a dialogue group we used to have. I did this, as a result of she was alone and had a really nice method about her. She additionally appeared clever.
In no matter case, she at all times begged off, so I give up bugging her. I discovered different issues to do for her, however anyway, I feel I could also be turning into her. Like she was somebody, however she’d gotten weary sooner or later, simply making an attempt to be herself on this world. She folded in and it labored for her.
I additionally relate to being the “maid”. That is one thing I’ve identified since I used to be a young person; if you wish to know what’s occurring, ask the maid! She’s bought her mouth shut however she is aware of all of it.
I’ve at all times associated to this stereotype. I imply, I used to be the barmaid, that is how I realized so freaking a lot about how individuals mate… and reside, for that matter. I’m cook dinner with being the maid.
This additionally fits my progressed chart, which has all of the Scorpio within the sixth home.
That’s a variety of perception proper that, that’s not public (beneath the horizon). I’ll inform you one thing about Virgo and the sixth home. You don’t know the mind you’re coping with till you hit them one on one. In no matter case, that chart proper there’s not for public consumption, particularly within the present day. And that’s my chart and it is going to be for a while to come back.
