I can’t consider it’s been eight years since I noticed I wanted to withdraw from the material of society, to dwell someplace on the margins of life. I felt out-of-place, in the midst of all of it. Nobody was benefitting.
This was in 2017. As I’ve stated for years, I hate strife. There isn’t a motive for me to face in the midst of a struggle, after I have the choice to retreat.
My grandfather wrote of his “nervous disposition” in his letters. I believe I’ll have inherited it.
That is my grandfather, as depicted by considered one of his faculty pals, after he stop his job as a professor of English and Library Sciences. He opted to lift chickens and construct adobe homes. Simpler on the nervous system!
I made this adjustment, not absolutely understanding the “why”. I perceive it loads higher now. It’s exhausting to assume, within the crossfire.
This can be as a result of my Mercury and Mars conjunction in Libra. My head and ping pong backwards and forwards, into oblivion. To my nice shock, I started to crave the quiet solitude I skilled, rising up. Higher than standing between two barking, snarling canine! How about standing in the midst of six or seven, snarling canine?
It’s exhausting to listen to your individual ideas, nowadays. It’s additionally exhausting to work out what you actually assume and the way you actually really feel, with all of the threatening chatter.
Additionally think about, I’ve Virgo within the eighth home. This describes a deep thinker, with personal ideas. My progressed chart has a big stellium in Scorpio within the sixth. It’s related power, but it surely’s under the horizon which explains my desirous to withdraw from public life, a very good bit.
These placements are additionally deeply desirous about secret, hidden data. Taboo subjects, principally. My progressed chart is so overwhelming, I really feel it’s unreasonable to assume I might survive, with out taking time to tug my horns in and actually take into consideration issues others don’t wish to take into consideration.
I’ve realized loads over the past eight years. I’m full to the gills with repulsive info… which is sort of humorous, I suppose. I include the taboo, which feels acquainted, reality be informed.
Issues will shift in my progressed chart, in about six months. However after I checked out this, I didn’t observed the massive stellium will stay in my sixth home, for greater than 25 years, assuming I don’t transfer. I’m merely going to be a hidden repository of deep perception, serving to folks, for the remainder of my life, although my emotions (moon) will change.
Imagine it or not, I’m good with this. You simply can’t combat the tape.
So I’m the individual you all when your downside is uncooked and gnarly or when you could get to the basis of the issue, effectively.
The longer term?
<– That is the place I’ll find yourself, if I dwell one other 25 years.
Natal Mars and Mercury within the ninth, turns into Mars and Mercury in Sagittarius, identical to the eighth turns into Scorpio.
It’s prefer it was all written, the day I used to be born.
What private mysteries have you ever found over the course of your lifetime?