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On Being A Conundrum | ElsaElsa

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On Being A Conundrum | ElsaElsa

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Santa long listI wrote the e-newsletter in regards to the planets in Leo and the Uranus sq.… plus moon, Mercury, Neptune. It’s been lower than an hour and one thing completely new to me, got here to me, about myself!

Okay, I believe that’s humorous. Me, me, me. However I’ve been performing self-exam, each formally and in any other case for a few years. It’s been a very long time since I had a radical perception.

Many are conscious of how I piss individuals off, both instantly or over time. I’m positive there are quite a few theories about this. I may sit right here and rattle of fifty of them and it will most likely be the tip of an iceberg.  You see, Santa, there, wanting over an inventory of my flaws.

What hit me at present is, Neptune. It’s exhausting. Neptune on my midheaven, I imply.

Individuals repair on me; possibly I’m a personality they like or they assume they like me.  However then I do or say one thing exterior their schema; it’s disrupts them they usually’re thrown from their horse.

Many they get again on their horse. I’m nonetheless fairly attention-grabbing, proper? However I maintain doing it and doing it and doing it and doing it; like a jackhammer.

I do know this and I attempt to cease or moderately, I attempt to determine methods to cease. I do know most individuals like me wouldn’t do that, however I’ve Libra, so there’s actually no alternative. I’ve to attempt to be non-offensive however I additionally need to be sincere.

The one approach to by no means offend is to be a superficial, disingenuous, capitulating, two, three, 4 or five-faced liar. That is akin to behaving like a sociopath and I’m simply not going to do it. However over time, these insults of offenses individuals undergo at my hand, add up. An individual will begin gathering my errors… in judgement, in grammar, no matter. They construct a case towards me and it’s fairly stable too. Very stable!  However then what occurs? It dissolves. It dissolves and really almost causes a reset to happen. At that time, this course of repeats.

How typically this occurs and what number of instances is variable to the person however finally, sufficient is sufficient – why?

I might need stated or did one thing notably offensive however extra typically, I believe an individual simply provides up.  I’m too laborious to outline, too disruptive, too difficult, irritating, pontificating, and so on.

I’ve understood this for years.  My new perception places the shortage of definition as the principle drawback.  Society, actually wish to see issues and other people tagged and arranged into stark classes. It’s gross as a result of the classes are inorganic.  To slot in one, it’s important to hack of some physique half or a bit of mind or no matter.  However all persons are a conundrum, if you happen to get to know they past the superficial.

This weblog is the one place on the planet the place I may even start to be myself. I actually hope you might be your self right here as properly.

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