I’ve been observing my very own psychological resistance over this final week or so. I’m attempting to suppose outdoors the proverbial field.
It’s remarkably tough. I don’t suppose it must be, for somebody like me. Particularly, I’m speaking about having Mercury conjunct Mars in my ninth home. I’m designed to suppose out of bounds. Bumping into my very own psychological block shocked (and irritated) me. The irritation is a Mars operate, in fact.
This was occurred earlier than this morning’s moon Venus conjunction in Virgo opposing Saturn in Pisces. When the 2 issues got here collectively, I figured I higher write about this, although I used to be immune to that as properly.
Actually, I need to suppose my very own ideas. It’s that straightforward. I’ve a mind. I used to be born with it. I need to have the ability to suppose freely and independently; oh my God, is this tough.
It’s onerous for some fairly silly causes which I doubt are my issues alone. One is codependency. Exterior the incessant flood of stupidity we’re all subjected to, I’m surrounded by sturdy folks with sturdy opinions. I’ve that wee little bit of Libra that makes me need to be agreeable. If I don’t prohibit this, I change into amendable aka simply persuaded or managed. It’s an invisible jail!
To make clear, I’ve felt the necessity to prohibit myself from “the web” but additionally individuals who could also be caught in their very own jail, attempting to carry on to info they really feel is actual and expensive to them. That’s their jail, see? Or their sanctuary. I don’t know and I don’t actually care. To not say I don’t care in regards to the folks. I imply, I’m targeted on resolving my very own difficulty.
That is that difficulty, precisely. I need to think about the likelihood that a complete method I take into consideration one thing is flawed. The folks round me “can’t go there” as they are saying. However I can’t go there both… or not less than I’ve banged on this invisible wall just a few instances this week. That is outstanding to me and never in a great way. Since when can I not suppose throughout or over or below a line?
This describes “the matrix” in my world. The idea is method over used nevertheless it’s superb and descriptive. Am I actually so weak, I’ve to remain in a single spot, rising more and more uncomfortable, fearing to step via the veil and isolate myself additional?
I’m not that weak and I’m going to do it. I additionally suppose loads of you’re in the same state of affairs so I’m penning this for you. I want us all loads of luck in gaining or regaining the power to get across the obstacles we worry transending.